Have you heard of the latest diet sensation? The No Bullshit diet! You don’t eat any gmos, factory farmed meat, or dairy, cause that’s bullshit. You dont drink alcohol made with gmos cause that’s bullshit. Fast food? Bullshit. Soda? Bullshit. All the stupid white shit Nazis eat? Fuck that bullshit. No white flour, salt, sugar, enslaved abused animal milk none of that bullshit. Because they will give you diabetes inflammation and high blood pressure. No bullshit! No dyes, chemicals, nitrates, or added sulfates. No sushi or pork because you’ll get parasites from that bullshit. So what do you eat then? First off you eat less and stop stuffing your face with this crap. Second drink more filtered water your liver and kidneys will thank you. 3 The vegan trinity beans greens and grains cause you dont need meat three times a day. 4 Add some free range organic grass fed wild meat sparingly. 5 Eat a new fruit and vegetable every month for a year. Yeah omg you need to go to new stores! 6 Learn what your local wild foods are and go get them. 7 Grow your own garlic and onions because you need them to cook every day and its easy as fuck. 8 There are a ton of alternate milks, try them all! 9 100% Blue agave tequila and organic cider are great. Of course they’re expensive. Drink less, dumbass. 10 Do this with ever increasing accuracy for 20 years until everything you cook is better than 95% of what you could eat in a restaurant and then you will have reached the ultimate no bullshit level. But then eating out will suck or be expensive and thats also – No Bullshit! No cooking in plastic in microwaves. Learn to cook and garden. Pull the bullshit from your cupboards and fridge. Make farmer friends that have goats. Breed happy chickens to barter for happy cheese.
Don’t put bullshit
In your mouth
#20 Berries – – Blackberries, raspberries, salmon berries, huckleberries, Spooners strawberries, and the list goes on. You thought I was going to say apples didn’t you? Nope, the berries are better.
#19 Farmers markets with flying fish, bakeries that make soul cookies, urban farms with ancient vines, and other locally made organic goodness.
#18 You don’t have to shovel rain. True story.
#17 “It’s in the water” Best tap water this side of the Rockies.
#16 No plastic bags starting July 1st 2014 …you environment destroying single use menaces.
#15 Pow wows – Because thankfully there are many tribes out here that survived the holocaust of colonization historically disguised as manifest destiny.
#14 I have never been called a nigger in Washington. At least not to my face. Or any other slur of races I am not a part of in blood but seem to resemble enough that I catch their slurs in places like the Midwest. We are very politically correct out here in Washington for the most part. I love that!
#13 Festivals -The Cascadia Poetry Festival, The Spring Fairy Festival, Chinese new year celebrations, PRIDE, And the list goes on…
#12 Rainbow Valley in the 1990’s. I think I may have taken a trip there once and if I did it was not a bad one.
#11 A decent economy sprinkled with Boeing, Microsoft, and other global diabolical badassery such as….
#10 JBLM, Bremerton and Whidbey Naval bases. Just in case TSHTF Washingtonians will be pretty safe while soldiers kick Russian ass and the best drag queens north of San Francisco sing the star spangled banner with a fierceness unlike any other.
#9 TESC and Cascadia Now! They are such a cute young couple.
#8 Organic locally made lollipops with zero regrets.
#7 Seattle and Olympia – Both are culture hubs with beautiful backdrops of the forests and mountains found all over western Washington
#6 Canada is a very nice neighbor to the north eh?
#5 Religious tolerance with a heavy dose of eastern influence mixed in with a few hippies, vegans, yoga and a sitar.
#420 It’s a green state with MMJ, Cannacon and Hempfest. Or the right to be healthy and happy as I like to call it.
#3 There are many alternative educational opportunities and community building organizations such as GRuB who work real miracles
#2 No Hurricanes, tornadoes, lightning storms, poisonous snakes or gators. Sometimes it’s the things that aren’t there that you really appreciate.
#1 Sasquatch – She’s actually pretty cool once you get to know her.